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Tuesday, January 31, 2006 If it doesn't rain..it pours! Ok everyone, hold onto your hats, this is gonna be a doosie of an entry. Important things first, Friday weighin saw a gain of 600g, back to 79. Main reason for this: just haven't been eating right and haven't exercised since last Monday. Well on from my entry of Wednesday, am still feeling funny in the tummy which has lead to serious pregnancy suspicions. The problem: on Thursday I got a call from my mum saying my sister had chickenpox. Great, haven't had chicken pox! Was with Kelly everyday since Monday so both Bethany and I am due to get them. Chickenpox in early pregnancy (if I am) very not good. Called boss (who is in early stages of pregnancy) and let her know and also told her I can't go to work until Thursday as I have no-one to look after Bethany (mum had chickenpox when she was younger but only got about 3 dots. This time she woke up on Monday with 1 on her neck but thats it but thinks she has them). Don't think she was very happy but am also putting her first as I don't want anything to happen to her baby. Pete is taking Thursday off so I can go to work! Was advised to go to doctors with my concerns. Have taken blood test (must ring in about 15mins to get result) to see if I am immune (I doubt it). If not all I can do is wait until next week to see if I am pregnant. If not, no probs. If I am then we got into panick mode and see what we can do. TALK ABOUT STRESS!!! So mind hasn't really been on weightloss lately but am doing all I can to stop any further gain this week. May even try for a walk this afternoon but my stomach just doesn't quit. Geez I hope its just some kind of tummy bug. Not that I don't want to be pregnant but with this chickenpox problem, I'd rather not be...if you know what I mean. Well that's enough for today. Must log off so I can get my results. Catchya later 
Not Well Well so much for getting back on track. After my post on Monday I had a killer allergy attack. It was so bad I was sent home from work but by then my antihestamines did nothing. Didn't stop sneezing till about 7.30pm. So was feeling like utter poo. Had killer headache, my eyes were almost fused shut and I just couldn't be bothered going for a walk. Yesterday woke up feeling like I had a tummybug. I had constant cramps. Felt like I either needed to throw up or do poos but neither would come. Resorted to chocolate while I was a work to try and settle my tummy. Worked for a little while but came back once I got home. Pete even cooked dinner (must have been bad) so the was full fat sausages and vegies. I only had 1. Missed yet another walk. Today my tummy is still tender although I don't know why. Mum said maybe I was pregnant but I would only be a couple days if anything so I highly doubt its that. So in summary have done absolutely no exercise since Sunday and have eaten total crap. Result: am expecting a gain this week and the sad thing is I don't have any energy at the moment to try and stop it. I just feel BLAH! Depending on the tummy, might just go for a gentle stroll tonight (weather permitting) and then maybe try and do something tomorrow but I really can't see it doing much for me. And the worst thing is it's getting me down because I was doing so well with this challenge so far. Lets hope its the only bad week of the 12 weeks. Geez I sound like an absolute whinger!
Week 3 Sorry for not updating sooner. The last few days have been pretty full on and when it has been quiet, I have rested as I actually feel exhausted. Fridays weighin saw a 600g loss down to 78.4kg. Pretty happy when you consider on Monday I was 79.9! I am still having problems with my weekends though. I mean in the last 7 days, I have only missed 1 day of walk and that was on Thursday so that's not so bad. On Saturday I even went for 2 walks, one in the morning and one in the evening. I didn't go madly over points. On Friday, due to some miscalculation, I went over by about 8. Saturday and Sunday I finished on about 19 each day. So come mid week weighin this morning and I am up about 600g. If I can loose about a 1kg from today I will still have a decent loss and get back to the 77's. I have been thinking about my eating over the last 2 weeks of this challenge. Although I am keeping under points, I don't actually think I am making the best choices so I am going to start thinking about it more. For example I think I am eating too much bread (although we now eat multigrain). I have been having toast for breakfast (either with an egg, baked beans or on its own) and then having a salad sandwich for lunch. Today I am back to having cereal instead and then maybe having just a salad for lunch with a slice on its own. Difference: 3 pieces of bread down to 1. It's just these little changes that I think will help start shifting a little more weight. Well must get back to work now. One of my bosses just came in and saw this screen up (I was distracted and was too slow to minimise it)so better get some work done. Bye
Messing with my head You know how people say "don't weigh yourself everyday". Well I know most of us still sneak peaks, me especially. But I know why people say it. Cause it messes with your head!!!!!!!!! Today was a perfect example. I snuck a peak yesterday morning and was extactic to see 78.5. I went and did my situps (am now up to 60) and push ups (am now up to 20). Had 18 points for the whole day and did a totally awesome walk which included about 70 metres of jogging (give or take a few meters). Got on the scales this morning.... 78.6! WHAT THE? So really must stop sneaking peaks on the scales (yeah right!). With tomorrow being weighin day, at least suppose I am in for a loss and on Monday I was just going to be happy with a 100g loss so beggers can't be choosers I suppose. Last Wednesday when I was out for a walk there was the most awesome sunset so I took some photos on my phone. They actually didn't turn out too bad so here they are,    That was a great walk that night. It just seemed to inspire me and made me feel calm and one with the world. Well that's enough for today. Here's hoping for a good weighin for tomorrow.
In the swing Well, the results are in and I must say they weren't as bad as I thought. I did my mid-week weighin on Monday and was up 900g from Friday. I was expecting 2kg so happy with that. Have been finish on 19 points for the last 3 days and have walked everyday. My fitness is starting to return and my walk last night was awesome. It was the best walk I have done since falling pregnant in September. I was determined that if the fat wasn't going to burn off, I was going to wobble it off and geez I could feel it shake on my hips(LOL). After reading Jules journal today, I am even contemplating mixing some jogging back in like I used to when I hit that 72.9 mark way back last year. I even got over a litre of water drank yesterday. Something I have not accomplished in simply ages. I feel good. The only bad thing is when I weighin on Friday, the results will be from last Friday, not Monday so my loss will actually be 900g more but not offical. Am determined to make it as good a loss as possible. Have also been doing some thinking on the baby front. Was thinking about postponing trying for a couple of months until my weight goes back down. Its just that as I seem to get back on track, that takes over. BUT THEN, I really want to start trying again. My boss came in on Monday and althought she is only just over 8 weeks, because she is so skinny, her tummy is showing already. That started me thinking and wishing, then yesterday, Bethany and I were driving home from mums and out of nowhere she says "We have to get you a new bubby for your tummy and then you wont be sad". I didn't realise she still had those memories in her. In fact she is more concerned about it sometimes than me. Everytime she sees a baby when we go out, she says "look a little baby" and then she waves at it and tries to get its attention. The other day she was jumping up and down infront of someones pram trying to get the baby to look at her. Pete had to stop her and explain that was scaring the baby. SO I am going to start trying. Who says it will happen straight away (although it did with Bethany). If it does, well I just have to stop my challenge (again!) if it doesn't and it takes a couple of months, well then that is just extra weight lost. So my present state of mind is I'm going to kick arse until I get pregnant. Make sense?
In damage control Well what was I saying last post about my wagon. Weighin on Friday was great. A 2kg loss, back down to an even 79kg and determined to leave the 80's behind. Then TOM eating kicked in and I am absolutely sure that by last night I have undone all of my good work. Today I felt bloated, embarrassed and ashamed of myself. I don't know the exact damage for sure, I was too scared to check this morning so have been extremely good today. Will do mid week weighin tomorrow, check the damage and get back in action. It is now 9pm and I am shower and about to go to bed to get up for a 5am walk. I know, I have said I was going to do this for the last 2 weeks, but geez, I have got some serious work to do to undo any damage and try and get another loss for this week. At this stage, I will be stoked if I get and 100g loss. I am also starting to look into aerobics classes and such that run while Bethany is at school. I do want to use that extra time to burn some extra calories. The one highlight of this weekend is that I have done some serious work on my current scrapbooking album, I got 3 layouts done in 3 days. I now have 4 to go to finish this album. Well, just a quickie for now to let you know that I stuffed up and have admitted it.
Yet more changes... OK, OK, OK, things are sorted now. Unfortunately I have had to knock back the second job in the afternoons as they called and wanted me to do vacation cleaning during the day and I just couldn't do it considering I still have my old job. So now I am back to one job again. Now things don't really change here for about a month. On 9 Feb I will finish an hour early, on 16 Feb I will also finish an hour early, then I am on holidays for a week and then starting 27 Feb my hours will change to Mon, Tues, and Thurs 7.30am-11.30am and Wednesday will stay at 8am-1pm. I am going to have some extra time on my hands that I don't know what to do with. Mondays and Tuesdays when I finish at 11.30, Bethany is at school from 12-2.30 so I have 2.5 hours to myself. I do my food shopping on Tuesdays so I am quite excited about being able to do it without her, she gets so bored. On Thursdays when I finish at 11.30 she is finished school but will have nap time and I will have the house to me and Fridays when I am off work she is at school for 3 hours. WOW. Am seriously thinking about going to the gym on at least one of my free days, like Mondays maybe and if possible every second Friday because Fridays will be the day I go to the school to help out so if I alternate it, it would be good. Weightwise things are going well. TOM arrived yesterday and I still have pains today, just doesn't want to settle down. Still, I got myself out for a walk yesterday afternoon(the 5am thing failed again) and I must say it was a great walk until about the last 5 mins. I don't know if it was the heat or my TOM condition but I got really lighthead and woozy so had to take it really easy. As soon as I got in the door I downed 2 low fat bikkies and drank lots and then had a nice shower and felt great afterwards. I have now been for a walk 4 days in a row and have been on or under points for at least the last 3. Today we are having my newfound lowfat rice and stirfry recipe as tomorrow is weighin day and I want the results to be good. Well tomorrow is the first weighin for the 12 week challenge and I am actually excited to see the results. I feel like my wagon is finally back on track (yeah, I know, don't talk too soon. LOL)
On track Well things are now starting to get on track. Jobwise: Monday I went into work and worked my butt off to show I can get the work done. I also rang that morning about a job I had seen in the paper doing 3 hours of cleaning at a school everyday from 3.30-6.30pm. I got all my work done plus all of Tuesdays and half of Wednesdays. I also got an interview that afternoon for the other job. As I was leaving, I asked what was going on and was told we would discuss it Today as there was more to it. So off I went to the interview, I just wanted to have my bases covered. Well I got the job. I called Peter and told him that I accepted it, that way if I got to keep my old job, I would be getting some extra money like we had been talking about, even just for a few months. Today I went to work and was told we would trial the new hours for a couple of months to see if I could handle it but eventually they would like me to return to the old hours. Then I was asked if I would like to think about going full time in August as my boss is 7 weeks pregnant. I guessed 2 weeks ago that she was as she was throwing up in the toilet and congratulated her as she had her miscarriage 2 months before me but told her in all honesty that I don't think I could as Bethany would still be at school so I would still need the early knockoffs. She said maybe we could do a jobshare thing with another person, but would see when things get closer. I am really happy for her but really jealous too. I know that after this cycle we are definately going to start trying again. Pete was talking about it last night. Anyhow, back on track. Weightwise: Went for walk Sunday and yesterday. Sundays was awesome. I did better distance than I had in a long time. Yesterday, I don't know if it was my job situation playing on my mind to PMS (am due today) but I felt heavy and bloated and felt everything on my body jiggle. I even had to look down and remind myself how small I was because I felt like that 100kg lady I used to be. Today, I was just about to go for my walk but went to get the washing of the line first. Then I realised how hot it still is out there so will have to go in about an hour and a half. That means I am starting dinner as soon as I finish this so it can settle in time. I hate walking after eating. That may not have helped yesterday either. I am determined to get up at 5am tomorrow. The last 2 days I have not been able to do it. Sunday I went to bed far too late and last night I woke up at 2am with allergies (believe it or not), finally got back to sleep then Bethany woke at 4am sneezing(like mother, like daughter) so took another half hour or so to get back to sleep. Tonight, early to bed, sleep through, early up and walk(heres hoping). Well enough dribble from me today. Off to cook dinner. Oh and welcome back Phil, missed ya heaps.
And so it begins... Well my rollercoaster of a life has continued its journey for this year. We have been trying to work out ways of getting Bethany to school when she starts in 3 weeks. She goes on Mondays and Tuesdays 12-2.30 and then Thursdays and Fridays 8.45-11.45. On Fridays I have the day off so that isn't a problem. But the other days I work 8am-1pm. On Thursdays we have found a bus that mum can catch to take her there but there isn't one at the right time to pick her up. On the Mondays and Tuesdays there isn't one to get her there but I can pick her up after work. So I approached my boss on Thursday and asked if we could change my roster on those 3 days from 8am-1pm to 7.30am-11.30, meaning I would lose an hour on each of those days. You see, I don't really have a lot to do, so I space my work out so it fills the day. My boss doesn't come in until 9.30am so I don't really do much until she gets there so I spend the first 1.5hours everyday on the net catching up with all my online friends. Then I spend the rest of the day working, pretty slack, I know. But apparently it is a problem. She doesn't think I will be able to get my work done (eventhough she doesn't come in to 11.30am on Wednesdays because she takes her daughter to swimming lessons, she's the boss, I know but she still gets full pay). She said they were already considering getting someone in on Fridays, eventhough there wasn't a lot to do (it is so she can take the day off to take her daughter to playgroup), so maybe I could do that. That would mean an extra trip to work and back for no extra money, having to pay mum to do another day and me missing yet another day with Bethany. I know she would be at school for 3 hours but I was going to roster as a helper on those days. I am not overly happy with the response. She said she will have to talk to her husband about it but unless I could work Fridays they may not allow it. I told her I would also have to talk to Pete and my mum but if that was the case, she may have to advertise my job. The worst thing is, I thought they weren't just my bosses, but my friends. Bethany was invited to her daughter's birthday party, her daughter came to Bethany's and we talked about everything. She is only 3 years younger than me so it was like we were friends and it really hurts. Well enough whinging from me, I'm sorry. I am also very PMSy today. I feel totally fat and bloated and just down, and that problem going through my head too doesn't really help. Now, to the start of the 12 week challenge. My weighin yesterday was 81kg, I stayed the same for the week. So now I have 12 weeks to move some acceptable weight. Although I haven't had the best of starts exercise wise. Yesterday was 37.8 degrees and today was 35.6 so I haven't really felt like doing anything so I haven't. I may have sweat some weight out but not really burnt any. I said to Pete today that if this keeps up, I may have to get up with him at 5am and do them before he leaves for work. Geez, I have gone on tonight. Sorry to have been so negative, but you all will either understand or have clicked of my page by now(can't say I blame you really LOL). Heres to bigger (or smaller in the case of my butt) and better things.
just because Just fiddling on the computer tonight and eventhough I have already done a post for today I thought I would post some of my favourite photos taken over the last couple of weeks. FIRSTLY,  This was taken of Bethany and my brother, Steve, the night before he left. THEN,  This is Bethany wearing her Harry Potter glasses and waving her wand on Christmas morning. FINALLY,  Our beloved Paulene. Just had to rush out and buy this today. YOU GO GIRL!!!
Another year older A little bit stronger A little bit wiser than A year ago today - A Year Ago Today, Delta Goodrem Sorry for not updating sooner. Hubby got some computer stuff for Chrissy and has had the computer in bits for about a week now so have had to wait until I got back to work to update. Onto the new year hey! New Years Eve was a bit intense for me. We took Bethany out for the day. Now I don't know if I was just being PMSy or the fact that my yucky year was about to end but my m/c carriage kept playing on my mind. Everytime I saw a pregnant woman or a new little baby I started to cry. We then called in at my cousin's who is now 24 weeks and is 8 weeks ahead of where I would have been and I cried when I left. Now I know that I am not the only woman in the world to have had a m/c and there are many women out there who have been through worse but that is just what happened. I think maybe I was saying farewell finally and ready to start again, if you know what I mean. Well enough of that! I woke New Years Day with another shocking dose of Hayfever (as did Bethany, she has inherited it from me). I decided it must just be an allergy to Sundays as I only seem to get it on Sunday. I did my new year weigh in first thing. Due to some poor eating and drinky drinks, the result..... 81kg. OMG!!!!!!!!! Felt rather disgusted in myself but also determined to get rid of it. I started in earnest, consuming 19.5 points for the day and going for a 30min walk. I still had bad hayfever but made myself go nonetheless. I armed myself with a good supply of tissues. That walk made me feel like the way I did 2 years ago when I took myself for that first, long walk around the block. I felt heavy and bloated. I had trouble breathing (this time due to a very blocked but runny nose? and a very dry throat) so I only took it easy. Yesterday, I woke ready to sneeze the day again. So too did Bethany, so the first thing I did was rush to the chemist to get stuff for both of us. Then the 3 of us set of for a walk by the river. Pete had never been so wanted to go. We walked for an hour and it almost killed me. When we got to our half way point, I had to get a drink (I'd forgotten to pack one). When we got back to the car my legs were like jelly. Then we took Bethany swimming (we had promised her 2 days earlier). So we swam for half an hour. By then we were starving so naughtily we went to Sizzlers. I did my best to be good. I had half a plate of salad, some fruit (lettuce, carrot, pineapple, peaches, etc) and some potato bake. I let myself down by 2 of their little dinner rolls (they are warm and so nice) but they don't have low fat spread so had to have full fat. Then for dessert, I avoided the choc mousse, tiramisu and had jelly and ice cream. So a bit of a half half start to the week. I am concentrating on reintroducing myself to exercise and tracking and then on Friday I start Paulene's challenge to kick some serious fat butt. I now have 16kg to lose and am pumped to do it. So, borrowing the idea from Karen, I am going to cap off 2005:
So that is my start to the year. Hope the year has started well for everyone. This is going to be a year of big changes, I can feel it in my fat!
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