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Wednesday, December 28, 2005 All over Hope everyone had a great break. Well that's another Christmas been and gone. Sorry for not updating sooner but the lead up to Christmas was very hectic around my house and on this day I vow that I will have all Christmas presents bought before December 1 2006. Christmas Day could have been better for me. Christmas eve I was up until 1am trying to assist my darling hubby in building a tiny little pavement bike. It took damn over 3 hours with the worst instructions I have ever seen. I am so glad I bought it in the post Christmas sales last year for only $20 or I probably would have taken the damn thing back. Then I woke at 6am Christmas Day with the worst hayfever I have had in ages. I took an antihestamine that was supposed to last 12 hours at least and it didn't do a thing. So I spent the whole day in agony, sneezing and blowing my nose, barely able to see through swollen eyes. And the worst thing, I didn't take any photos. I have never missed taking photos on any of Bethany's Christmases but this year I just couldn't. Pete managed to do some videoing but it's the photos I miss. So on Boxing Day I took some of her in her new clothes with some of her new toys, so that will have to do. We tried not to go over the top with Bethany's pressies this year, but once you put it all out, there seems to be heaps. Especially as she got 4-5 board games, and they are all in boxes, plus a garden set in a box, so once you take it out there is a lot of things like a lawnmower, wheelbarrow, etc. So now we have to try and find room for everything. Went up to the shops yesterday to start all over again. I got to KMart and when they clear the kids clothes and $5 and around there, I buy all Bethany's summer clothes for next Christmas. Anyway, I don't know if it is because I am looking at size 4 but they prices are around $8-$9. I spent around $100. Then I went to Best and Less and they had nicer shirts for $4-$5. So today I am taking the more expensive items back and getting the cheaper ones. Doing that means that the only things I have to get through the year for Bethany is her toys and socks and underwear. Oh, I forgot to mention the best thing for me this Christmas. Pete bought me a George Foreman grill. He got the one with the griddle and the 2 different temperature controls. It is just awesome. I used it for the first time last night to make quick steak sandwiches before we went out and the steak was delishious. It melted in my mouth. And it cooked Bethany's meat & vegie rissoles the best I have cooked them. I used no oil and they cooked all the way through without me having to cut them in half. I love it! We finally bit the bullet and took Bethany to see Harry Potter last night. A lot of people said that it was scary in places, so I took my sister who had already seen it and she covered Bethany's eyes when she knew the scary bits were coming. Bethany was fine, no nightmares last night and now she has finally seen it. I would never have guessed my 3 year old daughter would be a Harry Potter nut but, hey, what can you do? My sister bought her a wand and glasses for Christmas, she loves them and took the wand with us last night! Geez, I have dribbled enough today to make up for all of my none updates for the last week! Now to the important stuff. After all my bad eating and very little drinking (I couldn't drink because of the antihestamines so I only had 1 on Boxing Day) my weight this morning was 79.8kg. Have to be happy with that. Now it is time to start. I will walk this afternoon. I need to get all the leftover junk food out of my house. I am going to do Paulene's 12 week challenge and I really want to join a gym! I have 14.8kg left to lose. It is 22 weeks until my 30th birthday. I want to at least be in the 60's by then, which is 9.9kg. That is doable (unless something unexpected happens, you know what I mean). I really need to do this and I will. 
Maintaining Well, what a rollercoaster of a last few days. Firstly weigh-in saw me stay the same, which I was rapped with as I was expecting TOM to knock me around, geez it was a doosie. Then Sunday we had another get together with my brother to say goodbye and he gave Bethany her Christmas present early, which she absolutely loves. It's a little carry around craft box (like mummy's scrapbook stuff) with paint, pencils, crayons, playdoh and stuff like that. When I took everyone back to mum's after the BBQ, I cried on the way home, praying for him to get over safely. Then yesterday he left for Sydney. It was a very emotional day for all of us. I saw him in the morning before I went to work, I cried again. Then mum rang me when he did leave, she was crying. He was crying when he left. Mum said he kept looking at Bethany saying "No, I have to go, I have to go" I think Bethany knew it was going to be a while before she saw him again too. She is usually very shy around him because she only sees him like once a month or so. But mum said she kept hugging him and giving him kisses and when he left she stood on the driveway blowing kisses and waving. When I came home she asked me why Nanna and Steve had been crying. I told her that he was going on a big holiday and Steve was sad because he was going to miss everyone especially her. She then said "Steve loves me very much" I cried again. But I hope all goes well. He phoned in last night to let us know he was safely at his first stop. I looked back today at my progress for the last year and I weigh practically the same as I did last Christmas. It's funny but last Christmas I was so happy about how much I weighed and how much I had lost. But this year I am disappointed in myself. It's been a whole year and I weigh the same. I know a lot of things have happened and I should be proud that I have been able to maintain for a whole year. But earlier this year I was just 3kg from hitting the 60's and just feel like I should have done better. But here's hoping next year is a better year. This time next week Christmas will be over and there is no excuse for not climbing back on that big old wagon and starting again.
At Last! Well, am proud to say that for the last 2 days I have been for 2 x 30min walks. Eating is slowly getting back on track, although Monday I caved in to some left over chips from Sunday and yesterday I was in the middle of shopping when I had another shakey, dizzy episode so I scoffed a Mars Bar. This shakey, dizzy episode then led to TOM arriving. At last, although only really 6 days late. Even with the beginnings of tummy pains, made myself get out for a walk and also did about 30 mins worth of weeding in a very neglected vegie garden. I am now only worried about the impact TOM will have on my weigh in on Friday. But no matter what the scale show, at least I am getting back on track. Today the tummy pains are terrible. It maybe that I just don't have my usual pills that I take (haven't needed them for almost 4 months so forgot to buy some) so am struggling at the moment and don't really feel like being at work but what can you do? Also, am looking for a shortbread recipe so I can make some Christmas biscuits with Bethany. I used to have a great recipe that I found when I did home ec at high school but have since lost it. Does anyone out there have one that they have tried and liked. If so, I would appreciate a copy if possible. This weekend I am helping Bethany make some Christmas decorations for the house, I also have a recipe for a kids Christmas rocky road that uses white chocolate, mashmallows and biscuits, no nuts. So we are going to make some of that to take to Pete's family on Christmas eve. That way she can tell everyone what she made. She loves doing that, it makes her so proud. Well enough from me today. Even though I am in immense pain, I can feel the fog lifting, slowly.
Photo Time! As requested, here are some photos of Bethany. Unfortunately, we could not take any while she was dancing, as it distracts them, but here is one of her before it started (in the blue & yellow outfit) and one after it finished.   And below are just a couple from the Hi-5 Concert. Thought I better post these as I forgot to do the ones from the Wiggles Concert.   Well that's about it for now. Will be back with a proper update later. Bye
The pressures off! Well, where do I start. Wednesday, the Hi-5 Concert was awesome. Unlike when Bethany saw them in January last year, this time she danced and sung and went down the front, in front of the stage. She absolutely loved it. Friday, weigh-in, as expected, saw a gain back to 79.5kg. Saturday was Bethany's Dance Concert. She was gorgeous. She is the youngest one in the whole school. I was expecting her to freeze when she saw the audience. They came on stage and she skipped in her circle, went to her spot on the stage and danced. I was so proud. She did more than some of the 4 year olds. She jumped and wiggled her hips and galloped. You couldn't wipe the smile off my face. Then after intermission, she did her second dance, just as well and also skipped across the whole stage in the finale. When it was over and they were sitting on stage while the teacher did her speech, she just sat there, she wouldn't even wave to us. She was such a good girl. Yesterday was my brother's going away get together. Chips and pizza were consumed along with a few drinky drinks. Then before bed and not really being in a smart frame of mind, I stood on the scales. DUMB! I saw the 80's! Then my mind started. A few months ago I had lost 27kg and now it was showing 19. NOT GOOD! I felt depressed and disgusted in myself. But this morning I think it is what I needed. Of course I have done my proper mid week weighin this morning and the results aren't as bad as last night but I keep seeing that 80.5 flashing through my mind. I don't want to see it again! SO now I am fighting to get rid of it. Bit by bit I will get further away from the 80's, starting NOW!
Feeling Blah! Well have been feeling a little blah over the last couple of days. I think it is because TOM is due, but then again due to the m/c it is due anytime between now and Christmas so hard to say. Have been very moody, feeling yucky in the general tum region, craving chocolate (naughty me has been into Pete's secret stash of Tim Tams) and then last night while cooking dinner had a very yucky episode. We started cooking dinner at about 6.15pm and it only took 15 mins to cook. With about 5 mins I got the shakes, got the sweats and felt like I was either going to throw up or faint if I didn't eat so quickly scoffed some low fat bickies. It wasn't like I hadn't eaten for hours. My last snack was at about 5 I think (have been having to many snacks so haven't been keeping track that well) So Pete said maybe I was pregnant but I highly doubt it. With my cycle being out of whack I don't really know and I wasn't trying as the doctor said to wait a cycle. I think it is just PMS and my body readjusting to the cycle. Want a bet I get TOM on Christmas Day! I bet $5. So today am taking Bethany to the Hi-5 Concert that we bought tickets for ages ago. She knew she was going but doesn't know it's today or else she would have been asking us for months when she was going. (We have been counting the sleeps to Christmas since it was in the 100's!) Pete is going to pick me up from work with her. We are going to the concert hall and I am going to dress her and do her hair when we are there (about 30 mins before it starts). We can handle 30mins of "when is the concert?" I can't wait to see her face when she finds out. Hope you all have a great day. I will be back in the swing of things soon. I promise. I can't take too much more of feeling like this.
Very confused Okie Dokie, here I am again. Weighin Friday was exactly as I expected, back up to 79.6kg. Watched the Biggest Loser Finale and felt quite pumped and raring to get back into things. Got up Saturday and the weather wasn't the nicest. Typical! When you plan something, something alway happens. Well that's the excuse I'm using. I know, I should have fought it and gone walking anyhow but that's just the way I have been lately. Saturday got quite hectic with Bethany's 2nd last class before her concert, her end of year party and presentation and then Christmas shopping. Sunday was back shopping again. We only have like 5 presents to get, but can't seem to find the right thing. Eating was attrocious on the weekend. I am being honest and getting everything out. I ate full fat ice-cream, shared a lge bag of chips with Pete & Bethany (haven't done that in ages), had sausages and fish & chips from a shop. There was absolutely no exercise unless you count walking around the shops for hours and no water consumed. I walked past a shop window and was absolutely horrified by the reflection I saw. So this morning I got up and am totally ready to put the last 3 months behind me and get back to where I was. I started with a weighin to check all damage done, totally expecting to be back in the 80's. The final total after checking it 5 times, 78kg. WHAT THE? I have actually lost 1.6kg since Friday by eating crap and doing nothing! Don't ask me. So this morning I have done 35 sit-ups, 20 push ups and some of the arm toning exercises that Paulene told me about. I am aiming to drink at least a litre of water and weather permiting go for a walk, although it won't be a hard paced one, I don't want to burn out again like last week. So there you go! I'm back and ready to get back into shape.
Trying to recharge Sorry for the absense guys, but I really need to do something to recharge myself. I felt so yukky Tuesday morning that I started to get really depressed. I don't know if it was because I was so busy on the weekend or maybe I just threw myself back into the weightloss to early after my m/c but I just needed a break. And that is what I have done. After my post Tuesday morning I have done nothing. No tracking, no exercising, no stressing and I am almost feeling normal today, still just a little tired but almost there. So I am not expecting weighin to be all that great tomorrow, but you know what? I can start again. That's what I thought to myself Tuesday. It wasn't going to kill me to take another week off. The world wasn't going to end, so I did. And today I am almost feeling ready to take on the world (except for still being tired but nothing an early night tonight won't fix) So, due to this break, my goal has changed. I know I won't hit my pre-pregnancy weight by Christmas so now I am aiming for my first weighin in January. That will make it January 6. That is 5 weeks from tomorrow. It will also be 2 years since I started this journey. I was hoping to be at my final goal by that date but this year hasn't been the kindest so, of course, that isn't going to happen. But I will get there. It's not a matter of if I get there, just when.
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